Best Friends: A Dying Breed
Good Morning Friends!
Happy Pre-Independence Day!
A friend is “a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.” (dictionary.com) However, I feel there’s a continuum of friendship that may range between an “acquaintance” to a “best friend”, based upon levels of identification, intimacy, and shared experience. For example, an “acquaintance” may be someone who you may have met a few times; you enjoy his/her company, and you think fondly of him/her. As opposed to a “best friend” who you may have known for an extended period of time, regard as a personal confidante, and feel that you have a significant psychological connection with as a result of shared experience and personal information exchange. Obviously there are many contexts and variables that come into play when determining where a friend may fall within a continuum of perceived levels of friendship. However, is it possible that social context and norms have made us more self-isolating & decreased the quality and number of our closest friends? Today, we’ll discuss some of the societal factors influencing the distance between us.
Growing Up
Childhood is the 18-year training ground where individuals learn how to relate to one another. Throughout childhood we develop patterns of communicating and identifying with other people, which in turn become the foundation of our strategies we use for the rest of our lives. In regards to learned patterns, I would posit that children who grow up in one location will usually have more intimate, stable, and longer lasting friendships than those children who have repeatedly moved from one set of friends to another throughout their childhood. I would also argue that friendships based upon face-to-face interaction are far superior relationships to learn about one another due to the multi-sensory information that one perceives & interprets (i.e. mannerisms, intonation, facial expressions, situational context, increased likelihood of candor, etc.) All individual differences aside, the main focus during childhood is the development of interpersonal identification and communication with other people; which later becomes the basis of our future strategies we utilize in communicating with our spouse, children, co-workers, community etc.
Growing Small
A recent study published in a sociology journal (http://www.asanet.org/galleries/default-file/June06ASRFeature.pdf) says that Americans polled in 2004 indicated that they have fewer confidantes, or close friends, than Americans polled in 1985. The study also indicated that confidantes in 2004 primarily consisted of family members and spouses, as opposed to “non-kin” friends, such as from childhood, work, school, etc. which have decreased significantly since 1985. It would not be unreasonable to associate the impact of this decrease in “non-kin” friendships with increased instances of depression & stress within the family and between couples, as well as has contributing to a decreased membership in civic duty & community organizations. Also, if our confidantes have decreased to just a couple of homogeneous family members, we may have restricted the diversity of perspectives we are privileged to in problem-solving and situational advice. Variables that may have contributed to this decline include increased time spent with technology (i.e. television, internet, video games etc.), as well as time spent with the nuclear family. These research findings indicate that Americans are becoming more isolated and comes during a time period of unparalleled living standard, where Americans are living longer, have more buying power, as well as more time to devote to leisure activities.
Cultural Breeding
Perhaps, increased personal isolation and increased personal gain, is not all that surprising from a country marked by individualism and individual capital gain. We seem to have become healthier economically & physically, but less personally satisfied & socially oriented. Our quick-fix mentality drives us to prescription drugs & self-medication to avoid the discomfort of isolation and materialistic emptiness. The establishment of civic duty and community are getting lost in the banter and moot argument of religious righteousness and control. Our United States may be more of a collective of competing organizations that breed detached individuals loyal only unto themselves and their immediate family. Young generations are growing up in an age of detached electronic mediums of communicating with one another, combined with a small, yet growing trend of home schooling education; could all be leading to less face-to-face interaction, communication, and perhaps empathy towards our fellow man.
My questions to you…
Have we lost the Art of Friendship, or is this just indicative of people moving towards a tighter knit family unit? Are our close “non-kin” friends being traded for surface-level acquaintances? Have we become so busy that we’ve lost the time and patience for quality “non-kin” friendship, or is it just becoming harder to find in our culture?
If we naturally migrate towards people similar to ourselves, is it surprising that our closest friends are not all that significantly different from us? Theoretically, there may be many benefits in having a truly diverse and heterogeneous group of best friends, but is it realistic? Are our "different-from-us" friends destined to be more distant?
What is to be done to promote more people to leave homogeneity and isolation, and develop their sense of Civic Duty & Community? Must we always rely on religion to establish & manipulate us into volunteering, or can we learn to understand that it’s just a necessary and important part of developing society?
Has technology contributed to the evolution, or dilution of friendship? Is it possible for the internet to help us find quality “non-kin” friendships, or is it restricted by a predominant attitude of anonymous & expendable online acquaintances?
All right, click the "comments" link right below to read the responses of others, as well as jot down your own responses. "NO" you don't have to be a member of Blogger to put in your $0.02; Just select "Other" for your identity, type in your name, and post your comments... that's it.... simple as lighting yourself on fire with illegal fireworks!
Happy Pre-Independence Day!
A friend is “a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.” (dictionary.com) However, I feel there’s a continuum of friendship that may range between an “acquaintance” to a “best friend”, based upon levels of identification, intimacy, and shared experience. For example, an “acquaintance” may be someone who you may have met a few times; you enjoy his/her company, and you think fondly of him/her. As opposed to a “best friend” who you may have known for an extended period of time, regard as a personal confidante, and feel that you have a significant psychological connection with as a result of shared experience and personal information exchange. Obviously there are many contexts and variables that come into play when determining where a friend may fall within a continuum of perceived levels of friendship. However, is it possible that social context and norms have made us more self-isolating & decreased the quality and number of our closest friends? Today, we’ll discuss some of the societal factors influencing the distance between us.
Growing Up
Childhood is the 18-year training ground where individuals learn how to relate to one another. Throughout childhood we develop patterns of communicating and identifying with other people, which in turn become the foundation of our strategies we use for the rest of our lives. In regards to learned patterns, I would posit that children who grow up in one location will usually have more intimate, stable, and longer lasting friendships than those children who have repeatedly moved from one set of friends to another throughout their childhood. I would also argue that friendships based upon face-to-face interaction are far superior relationships to learn about one another due to the multi-sensory information that one perceives & interprets (i.e. mannerisms, intonation, facial expressions, situational context, increased likelihood of candor, etc.) All individual differences aside, the main focus during childhood is the development of interpersonal identification and communication with other people; which later becomes the basis of our future strategies we utilize in communicating with our spouse, children, co-workers, community etc.
Growing Small
A recent study published in a sociology journal (http://www.asanet.org/galleries/default-file/June06ASRFeature.pdf) says that Americans polled in 2004 indicated that they have fewer confidantes, or close friends, than Americans polled in 1985. The study also indicated that confidantes in 2004 primarily consisted of family members and spouses, as opposed to “non-kin” friends, such as from childhood, work, school, etc. which have decreased significantly since 1985. It would not be unreasonable to associate the impact of this decrease in “non-kin” friendships with increased instances of depression & stress within the family and between couples, as well as has contributing to a decreased membership in civic duty & community organizations. Also, if our confidantes have decreased to just a couple of homogeneous family members, we may have restricted the diversity of perspectives we are privileged to in problem-solving and situational advice. Variables that may have contributed to this decline include increased time spent with technology (i.e. television, internet, video games etc.), as well as time spent with the nuclear family. These research findings indicate that Americans are becoming more isolated and comes during a time period of unparalleled living standard, where Americans are living longer, have more buying power, as well as more time to devote to leisure activities.
Cultural Breeding
Perhaps, increased personal isolation and increased personal gain, is not all that surprising from a country marked by individualism and individual capital gain. We seem to have become healthier economically & physically, but less personally satisfied & socially oriented. Our quick-fix mentality drives us to prescription drugs & self-medication to avoid the discomfort of isolation and materialistic emptiness. The establishment of civic duty and community are getting lost in the banter and moot argument of religious righteousness and control. Our United States may be more of a collective of competing organizations that breed detached individuals loyal only unto themselves and their immediate family. Young generations are growing up in an age of detached electronic mediums of communicating with one another, combined with a small, yet growing trend of home schooling education; could all be leading to less face-to-face interaction, communication, and perhaps empathy towards our fellow man.
My questions to you…
Have we lost the Art of Friendship, or is this just indicative of people moving towards a tighter knit family unit? Are our close “non-kin” friends being traded for surface-level acquaintances? Have we become so busy that we’ve lost the time and patience for quality “non-kin” friendship, or is it just becoming harder to find in our culture?
If we naturally migrate towards people similar to ourselves, is it surprising that our closest friends are not all that significantly different from us? Theoretically, there may be many benefits in having a truly diverse and heterogeneous group of best friends, but is it realistic? Are our "different-from-us" friends destined to be more distant?
What is to be done to promote more people to leave homogeneity and isolation, and develop their sense of Civic Duty & Community? Must we always rely on religion to establish & manipulate us into volunteering, or can we learn to understand that it’s just a necessary and important part of developing society?
Has technology contributed to the evolution, or dilution of friendship? Is it possible for the internet to help us find quality “non-kin” friendships, or is it restricted by a predominant attitude of anonymous & expendable online acquaintances?
All right, click the "comments" link right below to read the responses of others, as well as jot down your own responses. "NO" you don't have to be a member of Blogger to put in your $0.02; Just select "Other" for your identity, type in your name, and post your comments... that's it.... simple as lighting yourself on fire with illegal fireworks!
posted by Don the "Head Chimp" at
9:14 AM
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5 comments
