The Cubicle Chronicles

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Eternal Youth!!

Happy Holidays!

Yes that's right, I said "Happy Holidays". I guess according to the media that makes me a soldier in the "War on Christmas". Actually, that's why I haven't been posting blogs for the past couple of weeks; I've been on the front lines of the war targeting and eliminating lawn Santas and Nativity scenes! First of all, the point of saying "Happy Holidays" isn't to degrade any celebrated holiday in particular, it's actually the opposite; to wish everyone, no matter what holiday they celebrate, a positive merry ole gay time! (except in Hillsborough County; they don't believe in a "gay lifestyle")

Anyway, the topic of today is this country's Obsession with Youth. From anorexic Calvin Klein models and plastic surgery, to the value placed upon the productivity potential and marketing focus on youthfulness, I would posit that this phenomenon is rooted in two veins;

1. Fear of Death; which in essence is what happens upon the culmination of your body’s' progressive deterioration, or what is commonly known as "aging".

and

2. It's all about the Benjamins; good ole' capitalistic focus keeps our eyes on the prize, and face it; looking older isn’t as profitable as looking younger.

The first one is a no brainer; nobody wants to die. Aging is the pre-cursor to death. Boom. If I go to Dr. Youthenstein, or take these stupid pills and rub this cream on my ass and face I can avoid the Big Chunky Charlie; or at least reduce the visual cues of aging. Wrinkles, age spots, hair removal, hair restoration, the list goes on and on. Does reducing or increasing any of these really impact when you're going to die? No. Does it give you a false sense of youth? Yes.

The second one is so obvious, if you don't get it or see it for yourself, you might as well believe that some omnipotent dude who lives outside of the space continuum created the universe and gets angry when you masturbate!

I've got a great business idea. How about I take something that all people are afraid of, like "death" and its precursor "aging", and I create a bunch of shit to sell people that will cover up, remove, restore, implant, extract, laser away, firm up, and tighten up a more "youthful" appearance! People will love looking younger because it will give them the delusion that since they don't look older, they may not be closer to death! The younger you look, the further from death you are!

What? It's already been done? Well, fuck..... All I have left is this stupid eternal life and Heaven or Hell idea to control and convince the masses that there's something better than the life they are living.....But I don't think that would ever sell.....

What do yall think about this obsession with youth?

Are we just victims of ingenious marketing?


Drink the caffeine goodness, slap yourself in the face, and get us learnt!

Friday, December 09, 2005

Freedom of Whose Speech!!!

Good Morning Primates!

I know it has been a while since my last post from the cube, but I've actually been busy with some video production for a work holiday party. Ahh yes, to get paid to do something completely irrelevant to my job description; oh well, at least I get to do something creative and learn some new video editing software!

To begin, "Free Speech" is a fucking cliche. People cry that they embrace free speech, but then later complain about someone who should be censored because they don't have an "acceptable" perspective. The slippery slope with free speech is whether or not all speech is free.

If you say you "want to kill the president", it's against the law. If you make "inappropriate jokes" at the airport, you'll be quickly taken away to the "anus exploration room". If you are trying to organize a group to overthrow the government, you'll soon be arrested. ..

If our nation is to claim the first amendment in the constitution to provide "freedom of speech and expression", everyone must be able to exercise this freedom; whether certain groups agree with them or not. However, there appears to be a loophole in the amount of "freedom" we are given. You are not allowed to say anything that threatens the well-being of the government or the safety of others.

Perhaps, next we'll see a couple of high school kids suspended for writing offensive material in their "private journals" for their own amusement because their english teacher required daily entries that she said she "would not read".
(http://www.cnn.com/2005/LAW/12/02/student.threats.ap/?section=cnn_law)

Perhaps a few cops create a little video for comic relief from their stressful job that is for their own entertainment, somehow it gets online and then they are suspended from their jobs; and a private video made in a comedic context is shown nationally to the press...

(http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/09/national/09cops.html)


Perhaps our own government will pay Iraqi reporters to publish articles and propaganda in Iraqi papers to try to convince the Iraqi people that their independence is going well, even though the government and international journalistic code prohibits government involvement in the press...
(http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-infowar30nov30,0,5638790.story?coll=la-home-headlines)

My question to the minds is where should the line of protected speech and expression be drawn?

If everyone in the U.S. is given the freedom of speech and expression, that means people will be exposed to radicals, terrorists, and racists with the same freedoms.

Just a reminder:

Amendment I
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."

- United States Bill of Rights